Dr. Bob's minions tire away endlessly to help the good Doctor in the name of science,
but with what little downtime they get they would like to share with you fine people! 

10 Age-Old Arguments Part 2

By Abby

7. Would Sex with Superman Kill Lois Lane?

I don’t think so. Again, there must be some source material that definitively says how this would work. I also argue that if Clark Kent is able to keep his sneezes from destroying Metropolis, maybe Superman has some modicum of control over his bodily functions. And I feel funny saying that now. Ugh. (That being said, I won’t pretend like I’ve never speculated on the sex lives of Doctor Who characters, so no judgement from me, Supes fans.) I mean, there must be some limits to Superman’s powers, otherwise when he uses his X-ray vision he would just be able to see infinitely until his sight reaches the next piece of lead. I assume that the same is true of the um, romantic arena.

Advantage: Lois because she gets to bang Superman

6. Who is the best Doctor?

I could talk about this almost to the exclusion of anything else. The guys in the article break it down this way: the Fourth Doctor, as portrayed by Tom baker is probably the most iconic version of the character. When they make references to Doctor Who on The Simpsons, the character model looks like the Fourth Doctor. Shortly after his run, the Sylvester McCoy’s Seventh Doctor was voted as the most popular doctor in a pretty-official fan poll featured in Doctor Who Magazine. Since the most recent reboot, David Tennant playing the Tenth Doctor is another strong fan favorite. So there you have it: three strong contenders for best Doctor.

So what is the correct answer? Whoever you want! It might be your first doctor, your favorite doctor, or just which ever doctor you are into at the present time. Trying to choose a “best doctor” is asinine. Since I haven’t mentioned it yet today, my favorite is the Eighth Doctor, Paul McGann. If I express this opinion amongst fans of Doctor Who is there uproarious agreement that he is indeed the “best” Doctor? Hell no! Most New Who people have never seen the TV movie and many Classic fans don’t care for it. (He does have a small but viciously loyal contingent now. Check Tumblr). That just leaves more Eighth Doctor stories for me! And we can all enjoy the Five-ish Doctors Reboot together!

Advantage: Paul McGann, duh

5. Joel or Mike?

This one is a doozy, even if you aren’t a great fan of the show Mystery Science Theatre 3000. For the uninitiated, it’s commonly known as that one show where they make jokes about the old movies. It was syndicated on Saturday morning TV and published on home video long after the fact which is how yours truly was able to enjoy it. One human occupant of the Satellite of Love is forced to watch bad movies with his robot compatriots. This formula was a hit with B-Movie enthusiasts and early-adopters to its parent station, Comedy Central (i.e. nerds). October 30, 1993 was a turning point for cable TV addicts when Joel Hodgson (playing the fictional Joel Robinson), creator and host, left and was replaced by Mike Nelson, his handpicked replacement. That’s when things got ugly.

According to the Satellite News website (http://www.mst3kinfo.com/history/page9.html) this was the result: “In the real world, the former group [who prefer Mike] continued to watch the series; and the latter [who prefer Joel] abandoned the series as no longer of interest. And that was the end of it.” On the message boards, this was a different story. Remember, this is 1993.  The World Wide Web was just starting to penetrate homes, and people who would be eager to learn about this new technology were mostly the same people with an interest in schlocky sci-fi movies with wise-cracking robots (i.e. nerds). Think about all the stans and trolls that you see on your social media feed every day; think equally on any fond friends you have made through connecting to fandom on the web. I know everyone reading this has been part of a tight MMORPG guild, or a frequent commenter to a message board (mine was the Hawksley Workman fan page circa 2003. I miss you, Soup Kitchen!), or has a close friend that they met on the net. Well, this was the Wild West days, so no one was prepared for the chaos that ensued. Flame wars raged amongst a close community of fans. Posts would start out innocently comparing Joel to Mike, and end with personal attacks and worse.

According to IMDb credits Mike has the advantage with 124 episodes to Joel’s 109. If you’ve followed the modern day RiffTrax, you probably have more of an affection for Mike as well. Personally, I enjoyed Joel’s easygoing style. Plus he created the show, so he’s got that going for him

I’m a lover not a fighter. In honor of all the vitriol that has been spewed on this topic, I declare them both equally enjoyable performers and capable comedians.  I’ll conclude this argument by saying that my favorite episode of MST3K is Mitchell (!) which is like the regeneration episode of MST3K: it’s Joel’s last official outing as host, and Mike is introduced at the end.

Advantage: The winner of this argument is… IF YOU ARE TEMPTED TO SAY MEAN THINGS ON THE INTERNET, DON’T! No one deserves to be bullied over a TV show- or anything, really- and it’s just good advice to follow.



Previously on Minion Musings...