Dr. Bob's minions tire away endlessly to help the good Doctor in the name of science,
but with what little downtime they get they would like to share with you fine people!
Celluloid: PART DEUX: After the Intermission!
For those with short memories (or who missed Part one) a brief recap is in order.
Our hero, Doctor Bob Tesla and his loyal and long suffering assistant, Nurse Feratu, had been exiled into a cursed movie by THE Voice of Doom, their fans held hostage , and seemingly no one available to help! Igor had wisely fled at the first sign of danger (which was very surprising considering the source), projector guy was missing and presumed dead, while Catman and Skully had also left! Dr. Rick Edison had appeared to gloat over finally engineering his arch-rivals defeat, only to be zapped into the movie as well after annoying THE Voice of Doom. While trying to find the way out of the movie by jumping from scene to scene, Dr Bob was shot by a mysteriousassailant and left for dead. Then the Intermission lights had come up!!!!
Now, on with the story!!
THE Voice Of Doom could hardly believe this! It had never happened before! Somehow the movie had gone to intermission and he could not monitor his victims. The audience cringed as it seemed the entity was turning to them for answers…….
“WHAT HAS HAPPENED? WHERE ARE MY LATEST VICTIMS? WHY CAN I NOT SEE OR HEAR THEM! SOMEONE MUST TELL ME- YOU THERE- WITH THE LONG COAT- WHAT DO THEY CALL YOU?”
Jim slowly raised up in his seat as he realized THE Voice of Doom meant him. “ Well, sir, if I may call you that, every M3wDB show has an intermission so we can take a break to use the restroom or visit the concessions stand- or escape if the movie is really bad. By the way, are we imprisoned here or can we leave? Or at least get refreshments? A stiff drink would feel good right now..”
“FINE. GO. OBVIOUSLY THIS INTERMISSION WILL ONLY LASTA FEW MORE MINUTES. BUT YOU MUST RETURN TO YOUR SEATS BEFORE THE MOVIE STARTS BACK UP AND YOU MUST STAY FOR THE ENTIRE MOVIE. I WILL DECIDE THEN WHO MAY, OR MAY NOT BE RELEASED BACK INTO THEIR LIVES!”
As the audience gathered in the lobby and talked among themselves, they decided they had no choice but to see what happened – besides, this was the most intense the show had ever been! So concessions were bought, breaks were taken and everyone was back in their seats when the lights went back down……..
“EVERYONEBACK? GOOD” thundered THE Voice of Doom, NOW LET US CHECK BACK IN AND SEE IF YOUR DOCTOR TESLA IS DEAD YET!”
As the screen slowly returned to the movie, the audienceand THE Voice of Doom were surprised to see that Doctor Bob was not only still alive, he seemed to be invigorated and doing whatever he wanted! Suddenly, he stopped his work to look up and speak to Nurse Feratu…..
“I think he’s back Nurse! I feel an overwhelming presence watching us! Are you there, THE Voice of Doom?”
“YES DOCTOR –IT IS INDEED I. HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE? I MUST SEE YOU DIE SO THAT YOU WILL BE TRAPPED IN THE MOVIE .FOREVER!!”
“ I used your own rules against you! I was told that if the movie can absorb me and cause changes, then I should be able to affect the movie as well! Although I am sure the physics of it are not right, I mean how can –“
But THE Voice of Doom interrupted Doctor Bob, snarkily saying “ PHYSICS SCHMYSICS, IT’S A MOVIE, RULES ARE MADE TO BE BROKEN! WAIT- WHO TOLD YOU? YOU SHOULD NOT BE ABLE TO COMMUNICATE WITH ANYONE NOT IN A MOVIE! AND YOU SHOULD BE DEAD ALREADY, ESPECIALLY FROM A WOUND LIKE THE ONE I SAW INFLICTED ON YOU!”
“Well,” said Doctor Bob, “at the risk of sounding like a bunch of exposition, I had help. You remember of course that Catman and Skully got out? Of course you do. Well, they did not just flee for their lives, they called Wilma Westinghouse for help. And Wilma got in contact with my brother Nikola! Between them they came up with the idea to call me on my phone as they had been in movies and we hashed out a plan to allow Team Tesla to escape your cursed movie!
Even though I had just been imprisoned in this movie, I could tell I was subtly changing it. It now had Doctor in the title!! So I knew that every time someone joined the movie, they could change it somehow. I knew that my wound was mortal and I needed help fast – so I called my good friend Christopher Mihm to be the movies new scriptwriter!”
“IMPOSSIBLE!! ONLY I CAN TALK TO PEOPLE OUTSIDE THE MOVIE! OR CHANGE IT TO THAT DEGREE!”
“Au contraire “ exclaimed Doctor Bob jauntily, as he sensed a chink in the entity's armor, “ you see, Mr. Mihm is in film, almost literally. He has made over ten movies, written screenplays, created characters, you name it. And in HIS movies, the hero just does not die. When I contacted Chris, he agreed to become the NEW screen writer and see what he could do to solve this crisis.
The first thing he did was to write in the new character, The Physician. This character is a special plot device created by Mihm to save a character who has been written into a corner. The Physician can appear from nowhere for no reason, and save the hero, no matter how badly he was hurt. His friend Jim Norgard has been in so many of his movies, it was easy to add him in as The Physician and have him appear at my wounded side.”
“Dear God, NO! “ exclaimed The Physician as he examined the wound. “ Luckily for you I am a doctor, not a bank guard (at least not right now!)! If I do this right you should be fine, although if the scriptwriter could change the wound to a mere flesh wound, it would be a lot easier….”
Realizing he could do just that, Mihm redacted Tesla's wound and made ita glancing shot which The Physician sewed up easily, allowing him to leave and return to his regular gig at the bank. He also remembered how Projector Guy had been presumably killed and added a line to make him safe and barricaded in the projector booth.
But that still left the gunslinger who had shot Tesla in the first place. Thinking quickly, Mihm wrote in Mark Hader as his General Castle character to fight the villain for Tesla. Gen. Castle quickly marshaled some troops to stop the gunman-
“WAIT WAIT WAIT- THERE WERE NO TROOPS MENTIONED! AND HOW CAN YOU JUST IGNORE WHAT HAPPENED EARLIER!” bellowed the flustered entity.
“Simple” said the smug Doctor Bob, “it’s a MOVIE!”
Continuing with the expositional details, Doctor Bob told what happened next.
After Gen. Castle captured the gunman, we unmasked him to reveal the visage of Dr Edison!
“Why did you shoot me, Dick?” asked Doctor Bob
“Because it might have been my only way out of this movie- and the name is Rick!!”
Gen. Castle, Mihm, Nurse Feratu and Doctor Bob ALL exclaimed “We know what your name is!”
“Surely you don’t think you could get out of here by killing me, do you Edison?”
“Well it was my best idea- until I saw that you had somehow gotten Mihm here! Hi Mihmsie!!”
“Please, I have asked you time and again- do not call me Mihmsie!!”
“Sorry Mihmsie, but I thought you liked that nickname! Anyway, how are we getting out of this predicament?”
“ We have already figured that out, Edison. As the scriptwriter, all I have to do now is write an escape clause and we should all be back to what we were doing before this all started- I hope I haven’t missed too much of the curling match”.
“BUT HOW- WHY-WHAT-YOU CAN NOT JUSTIGNOREA MULTIDIMENSIONAL MONARCH LIKE THIS. I AM THE BOSS AND I MAKE THE RULES!”
That was when Mihm, Hader, Dr Bob and the nurse slowly stood together and linked hands.
“What you did not catch was me re-writing certain key points in the movie. Such as when you are in THIS dimension, you can only be IN the movie! And we can leave whenever we want ! So you are now trapped here in your own cursed movie while we will be leaving when the sun comes up!”
“NOOOOOOOO, IT CAN NOT BE, I CAN NOT HAVE BEEN DEFEATED!”
“ Hey, Tesla, Mihmsie, what about me?” whined Dr Rick Edison.
“ Oh, I think you two will get along fine- Dick!” said Mihm as the sun popped up on the horizon, releasing Team Tesla from their celluloid prison.
Suddenly Team Tesla appeared in a cloud of smoke at the Gateway as the credits started to roll on the cursed movie. Unsure of just what had happened, the audience slowly started clapping, eventually rising to give Doctor Bob his first standing ovation.
“Well, that went better than I thought it was going to- especially after such a horrible start” chimed Tesla, we need to get see if everything is okay and we will see you all next month!!”
As the audience and Team Tesla slowly left the theatre, the screen flickered briefly back to life- it was Dr Rick Edison, looking miserable and tapping on the screen trying to get someone, anyone's attention….
“COME AWAY FROM THAT DEVICE EDISON, WE HAVE MUCH WORK TO DO IF WE ARE GOING TO ESCAPE FROM THIS TRAP- AND YOU HAVE MUCH TO DO IF YOU DO NOT WANT ME KILL YOU – AGAIN!! WE WILL BE FREE AGAIN AND TEAM TESLA WILL PAY”….And slowly the lights faded.
Previously on Minion Musings...